>24 by 7
When you and 6 other folks have to do the work of two-dozen people, most of whom left months ago to join some Internet start-up.>5 feet
The width of the entrance through which you're trying to push a 5' 6" power distribution unit. >50,000 feet
The level at which most Executives want to hear about technology. >Achieving competitive advantage
The way you convince management to buy some incredibly overpriced software. >Best practices
What it takes two years to achieve, and by then they're not anymore. >Competitive salary and benefits package
What they offered the guy who replaced me, even though I wasn't making squat. >Continuous availability
What happens when your boss makes you wear a pager. >Cost-effective solution
Getting the vendor to knock 25% off the price, since management never went along with that "achieving competitive advantage" stuff. >Critical path
The tasks that were assigned to the guy who just went on vacation. >E-Business initiative
What you call every IT project from here on out, or it won't have a ghost of a chance of getting funded. >E-Business strategy
What companies wish they'd had before they jumped into their third consecutive disjointed, behind-schedule e-business initiative. >High-flying technology company
An employer that makes you travel 6 days a week. >Internet speed
Making mistakes faster, then making sure more people see them. | >Internet start up
The stock started up, but by the time I sold, it was 78% off its high.>Leading-edge handheld technology
Technology so new and confusing that you have to lead the consulting team by the hand, even though you're paying them $240/hour. >Leveraging core competencies
Convincing management to let you keep doing what you're doing today, because you sure as hell don't want to try anything new. >Marketshare
What your competitor has even though you spent a gazillion dollars on mindshare. >Mindshare
What you have to spend a gazillion advertising dollars on before you get marketshare. >Must-haves
See "Nice-to-haves" >Next available representative
The vendor's single point of contact the day after you sign on the dotted line. >Nice-to-haves
Projects we'll put off to next year >On-site customer account manager
The vendor's single point of contact before you sign on the dotted line. >Site stickiness
How well your Web site attracts and keeps eyeballs >Site yickiness
What you have if you don't have site stickiness >Wireless network
Moving your whole department to another floor, then finding out the cabling company is running 6 weeks behind. |